I bumped into an old colleague this morning getting coffee with the Coach. He asked, “What are you up to?”

My first answer wasn’t Dating With A Purpose or coaching. What popped out of my mouth was, “Wedding Planning.” It really is another piece of my “work” on a day-to-day basis. And even though I have a wedding planner sitting down at our Mexican wedding haven, still, the list of to-dos is greater than any other venture. An engagement is just that, “Engage – Meant – To Do.”

It’s been more fun going to Engagement Parties that family and friends’ host. I mentioned Stinson Beach and our dinner at Gary Danko’s in other posts. The latest, and biggest, was thrown for the Coach and me in my hometown of Salisbury, NC.

“Where is that?” You might be thinking. Right between Charlotte and Greensboro on I-85. I like to say it’s a special place that never gets bigger, and never gets smaller. I can still go there, walk down the street and someone waves saying, “Travis, how are you?” There’s a real comfort in that.

When my Salisbury clan said, let’s throw a party, I jumped right in. 6 couples were hosting at first. Then, there were 10. That’s 20 people. By the time the fiesta happened downtown, 20 couples signed up to give the party. I felt loved and blessed, and a little over-whelmed. Friends and friends of my parents (I have three of these, and almost 4.) Some I did not know. But, all of them genuinely love some aspect of the family. It’s the South. We do it differently.

One of my dear friends lives in Manhattan and really helped in hosting. Her family and my family have known each other even before our parents were born. I like that about the South, the continuity of “knowing.” She’s single and has been for a while by choice. She’s working on Purpose Principle #1, “Love Yourself! If You Don’t, Who Will?” But, Opportunity has people all around her conspiring to fix her up. She said to me during the party, “So-and-so wants to fix me up with someone.”

I whispered back, “Great. What’s the problem?” I could hear the hesitation in her voice.

“Well,” she said, “I think he’s a lot older than me.”

“How old?” I asked.

“Mid-50’s,” she sighed. To her credit, my friend is early 30’s and really looks like she’s in her 20’s.

But then, other excuses came out. The couple setting her up held very different religious views. Would the 50-something be evangelical too? The guy probably lived somewhere else. What if he looked old? What of he had kids? Blah, blah, blah. The excuses kept coming.

Later when I saw her at my Ladies’ Weekend, I brought up Purpose Principle #4 “Are You Dating? Put Yourself Out There. I mean, REALLY Out There.” I reminded her of my dating story. She lived it with me, but needed a little refresher.

When I started Dating With A Purpose, I decided to go on any date, any set-up. I didn’t ask, “How old is he? What does he do?” Etc. I just went. Now, I realize I was cutting out excuses. I definitely went on a few bad dates. Another friend joined Match.com. She went on 30 dates. Most of them bad. For us both, it was an opportunity to practice dating.

Dating is a lost art. People don’t practice anymore. Instead, they put pressure on themselves and the person sitting across from them instead of just being on the date. The only purpose to a date is to see if you want to go on another one. But, you’ll never get to the next one if you don’t go on the first one!

My friend that had 30 dates from Match.com. She eventually met her husband. I love him and them together. They’re trying for their second child.

Me, the Coach was one of the first blind dates I accepted. A friend emailed me, “I have someone for you to throw in the mix. He’s probably not your ‘one,’ but I think you have things in common. Are you game?”

“Yes,” my email said simply.

The Coach emailed me that day. We met the next Sunday. Neither of us knew on that date first date we’d be getting married in 3 months. (Yikes! I’ve got to get back to my To-Do’s.) We dated each other, and others. I never said ‘no’ to a set-up.

To my Manhattan hottie and to you – Go out! Date. Practice. You never know who you mind find.

[Photos from sgw via Flickr]