Psychology Today is one of my favorite reads. Leslie Blodgett, CEO of Bare Escentuals turned me on to it. A marketer’s dream, it showcases human behavior with the science to back up viewpoints. The articles tackle hard-to-understand subjects, making them digestible. This month when the magazine spilled out of my mailbox, I scanned the cover and saw, “5 Dating Shake-up’s for Singles.” I ran over to the couch and opened it immediately.

Today, I’m pulling some inspiration from this article and connecting it to my own experience and coaching. It’s the “#5 Dating Shake-up – Push Yourself Out of Your Patterns.” This section calls on daters to know themselves and their patterns, and do exactly the opposite in order to break the pattern, “You must continually make yourself do what doesn’t come naturally.”

I have a dear friend who although in her early 40s, refuses to date men who are 50.

“Why?” I often ask.

“Because they’re old,” she answers. “It doesn’t feel good.”

See the quote above. If it’s not coming naturally, maybe that’s a good thing.

On KFOG, I heard a survey of what “old” is. 14-year olds think 50 is old. The disc jockeys vacillated between 60 and 70 as the old age. The Coach and I were discussing this as we got ready this morning.

“What do you think Travis?” he asked.

“I was going to say 70, but I realize my dad is almost 70, and he doesn’t seem old to me. Maybe 80? Maybe 90?”

Would I want to date a 90 year old? Probably not, but it brought me back to my own pattern changer. Before I started Dating With A Purpose, I dated younger men. On average, they were running four years younger than me. My pattern changer was to date only older men. I was 37 when I started DWAP, so I told friends that my dating range would be 40-50. Why 50? Not sure, but probably because it felt a little uncomfortable to me. Maybe there was a part of me that was scared to date a 50-year-old because he’d be much more confident, more worldly, etc. It was pushing me out of my comfort zone. I was breaking a pattern. It turns out that the Coach is older. Not by much. 3 years. He was just turning 40 when we met.

Go to Dating With A Purpose to finish the article.

[Photo from irish-adam via Flickr]