The Credentials: San Francisco Ballet presented Nite Out, spectacular dance in excellent company. February-April the San Francisco Ballet invited enthusiasts to three evenings of world-class dance followed by an exclusive post performance reception with cocktails courtesy of Grey Goose Vodka. For more information check out the website at sfballet.org/niteout.

Enjoy one, two, or all three Friday performances in February, March, and April. Ranging from one of ballet’s most classical works, Giselle, to a world premiere by one of the contemporary dance world’s most gifted choreographers, Christopher Wheeldon, there’s something for everyone.

• Friday, February 4: Giselle - See photos below!
• Friday, March 4: Program 3 – Mixed Bill
• Friday, April 8: Program 7 – Mixed Bill

Tim Coleman, Kirk Marlow

David Laudin, Randy Laroche

Thomas Horn, Ruthie Robbins, David Robbins

Ashianna Esmail, Heather Littlejohn

Emily Nakashima, Frances Bell, Debbie Koski, Bianca Kaprielian

Remy Mertz, Brian Gougherty, Gabriel Duncan, Jessica Buendia, Franchesca Allen

Photo Credit: Moanalani Jeffrey

How do they do it!?

That’s exactly what we wanted to know. So we looked into five 2010 events that did just that, raised $1 million, and in some cases, much more:

• $88M: Robin Hood benefit, New York City;
• $28M: Power of Love Gala for Keep Memory Alive (KMA), Las Vegas;
• $1.6M: Illumination Gala for Barnes-Jewish Hospital Foundation, St. Louis;
• $1.2M: Joffrey Ballet Spring Gala, Chicago;
• $1.2M: Dick Vitale Gala for the V Foundation for Cancer Research, Sarasota, Florida.

Dedicated Support from a Well-Run Beneficiary

“Fundraising can’t go off on this level without dedicated staff,” says Anne Kaplan, honorary co-chair of the Joffrey gala. One of the first aspects of creating a great event is having a great staff at the benefiting organization that will work with your committee and chairs.

Jim Samalis, managing director, marketing, communications, and events for Robin Hood, notes the importance, when it comes to fundraising, of the organization being able to document where funds go. At Robin Hood, for instance, a unique and stringent set of metrics are used to track how funds are used by grantees; if grantees don’t meet the organization’s requirements, they don’t get their funding. “We do the research so the donor’s don’t have to,” Samalis says. “We want to give donors every reason to say, ‘Yes.’”

Strong Committee and Donor Base

It’s unanimous: A strong, dedicated, and passionate board, committee,and chairperson(s) are essential. “You need people on the committee to produce,” says Anne Robins, director or special events for KMA. “A lot of people want to be on committees, but they don’t always want to contribute much. This is a collaborative effort.”

“You need a strong board and key chairs to move the event forward,” concurs Amy Sinclair, manager of events at Robin Hood.

To start, personal contacts are invaluable, and the willingness to make the calls—“even those really difficult ones,” says Kaplan—makes the difference in dollars. (Especially in this economy, as the Obama campaign showed, it’s the accumulation of lots of smaller donations that often works best.) Samalis notes that not only did his board fill tables and get financial contributions, they helped bring in donors that provided key services at no cost, such as Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google, which provided graphic and technical services gratis. “We received millions of dollars in services pro bono,” Samalis says.

Kaplan also notes that the passion of your committee is directly linked to their ability to inspire checks to get written. And it’s not just right around event time that your committee and chairpeople should be making efforts. “Most importantly, it takes dedicated stewardship of donors throughout the entire year,” states Weddle, “Our cause is such a noble one, but people are busy, so continuing to talk about its importance with our community of supporters throughout the year is crucial.”

Create a Memorable Event

Absolutely, an exceptional affair will result in more funds raised. Kaplan mentions the effective afterglow from the ballet’s gala; the organization received numerous post-event donations because people had had such a wonderful time the evening of.

What makes these events stand out?

Excellent décor, food, and environs are the base. “Add splashes of unexpected fun throughout the event,” Weddle says. “This will make guests remember it and want to keep it on their calendars next year. This year, in sync with our basketball theme, we had the TNT Dunk Squad and Traveling Marching band open the show, and basketball ‘characters’ that showed guests to their seats.”

Along with throwing a stunning event for over three thousand people, the Robin Hood benefit always has surprise entertainment; this year it was Sting. And Power of Love features outstanding wine (guests are welcomed with flutes of Dom Pérignon), world-renown chefs (attendance is limited so that the quality of each dish can remain superb; “We have a waiting list of people who want to attend,” says Anne), and top entertainment—for 2010, Barry Manilow performed.

The primary draw of the Dick Vitale Gala is guest appearances by sports celebrities; it’s their donation (each of them pay for their own expenses for the appearance; the high-profile attraction allows for the high-priced tickets, $1,000 per person, which account for a large portion of the monies raised). The Illumination Gala also utilizes celebrity appeal. “One of the keys to the success is choosing the right celebrity or spokesperson for the event,” says Illumination’s Sherman. “I think this distinguishes our event from others in town. Al Roker, Christina Applegate, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar all add sex appeal, and having them available for meet-and-greets and photos prior to the event at a patron, high-end donor cocktail is fun, and gets everyone jazzed for the evening ahead.”

Sherman also suggests that “an after-party needs to be a highlight of the evening.” Among other features of the Illumination Gala’s post-event festivities, including a DJ, candy, and desserts, “flip flops were passed around to the ladies so they can take their Louboutins and Manolos off. These are the touches that people talk about for days and weeks after.” Keeping things fun and fresh is also paramount to continually bringing in new people every year, notes Robins.

Ways to Raise Funds

There are several different tactics these events employed to create generous giving. The Joffrey benefited from old-fashioned hard work; board members sent out hundreds of letters and made loads and loads of phone call. The personal touch from your chair people and committee members cannot be encouraged enough.

Robins singles out a particularly successful offering featured at the Power of Love: getting specific. Tables at the event feature donation cards, each for a KMA specific program: Give X number of dollars to fund this particular service. “People love to know where exactly their funds are going,” Robins says. During the live auction, the fund-a-need presents similar opportunities. For instance, asking those wanting to donate $1,000 to a certain program to stand. “Almost the whole room stands up,” says Robins. It’s also a way to get people to stand and give more than once.

“We tailor our tactics to the times,” notes Samalis. In the past, the Robin Hood fundraiser featured pricey auction items that only 3 or so percent of the attendees could participate in bidding for. This year, the event also provided devices at the tables that allowed attendees to donate any amount anonymously; to make it fun, the room was divided up into three sections and there was a competition between them to see which could raise the most money. Real-time totals appeared on big screens, and each section featured a celebrity “cheerleader” to encourage his or her group. Seventy percent of attendees donated with the device and the gala raised over $26 million from this effort alone. Every donation helps create a larger total.

At the Vitale gala, commemorative basketballs serve as table centerpieces and double as auction pieces; attendees at each table compete between themselves for the now coveted prize. It’s become such an anticipated tradition over the past five years the gala has taken place, that the bidding gets fierce, says V Foundation Vice President of Special Projects Joyce Aschenbrenner; bids have gone as high as $5,000 to even $10,000. The event also always features impromptu auction prizes (yes, totally unplanned, but they always happen), often game tickets: coaches regularly offer up great seats, and Vitale will, say, throw in a private jet ride to and from and himself as chaperon; this year, a walk-on role in Vitale’s annual Hooters commercial was on the block.

Exceptional service and a personal touch make a difference over at the Power of Love Gala. “We personally handle all of the details for the winners of the auction items,” says Robins. “We provide a unique level of hospitality.”

Build Your Message before and during the Event

Messaging, messaging, messaging!

“It’s all about the messaging,” Robin Hood’s Sinclair succinctly states. People need to have an understanding of what your benefactor does and feel that their money will be well spent, and they need to be excited about your event, so clear messaging about both is key.

One way to draw attention to your event: Create buzz. “Advance buzz is key,” says Sherman. “I would do more social networking in the future, maybe even getting a chairperson to have a blog, which she or he updates as the party moves forward. Use the social media more.” Also build up with “a kickoff party in someone’s chic home,” continues Sherman, “a cover story in a society magazine—advance press that makes it a ‘must attend’ is de rigueur.” The Joffrey gala committee convened months ahead of its event to work on its messaging verbiage.

At the Robin Hood event, building the charity’s message was a primary mission of the evening. “We hit with messaging at cocktails,” notes Samalis, “featuring many grantees in videos, pictures, and stories, showing what the funding has been doing. And we reiterate that throughout the night.” A good key speaker can also help this along; Samalis credits Robin Hood’s speaker, NBC’s Brian Williams, with inspiring donations.

“A combination of messaging and an enjoyable evening,” concludes Samalis, “puts people in the right frame of mind to give.”

Robin Hood

Power of Love Gala

Illumination Gala

Joffrey Ballet Gala

Dick Vitale Gala

Their most recent film, Toy Story 3, is a perfect example. Using the same familiar characters from the two prior Toy Story films, TS3 focuses on more mature issues than the formers, such as letting go and accepting the inevitable, with the toys’ owner, Andy, all grown up and moving to college. But this is exactly what Pixar is known for—focusing on real-life issues that create empathy in the viewers, as well as a sense of hope.

With Andy being the son of a single mother, TS3 is a perfect example of Pixar incorporating family issues into their films, an element in which both children and adults can often relate. Other examples include last year’s Oscar-nominated Up, which centers on an elderly widower (the death of his wife brings tears to the viewer’s eyes within the first twenty minutes of the movie) who, in an attempt to take one final trip, ties a bunch of balloons to his house and flies away. He accidentally ends up stuck with Russell, an adorably chubby Wilderness Explorer dealing with an absent father. In Finding Nemo, Marlin, a clown fish, loses his wife and children, with the exception of one, Nemo, when they are killed by a barracuda. While these characters are animated fish, this does not obscure the viewer’s natural inclination to empathize with the characters in their struggle.
On a more mature note, in The Incredibles, Mrs. Parr (superhero Elastigirl’s alias) suspects that her husband, Mr. Parr (Mr. Incredible), is having an affair when he starts sneaking away to do superhero work, despite having quit the business years before. While some of these themes may whiz over a child’s head, adult viewers are bound to find plotlines like this to add some depth to what might otherwise be just another children’s film.

Pixar films also do a great job of usually having multiple protagonists, allowing for both children and adult viewers to identify with at least one character throughout the film. While the “adult-relatable” characters aren’t always adults (they can be toys, monsters, fish, or cars, etc…), Pixar definitely does not create family films solely for the children. This can also be seen in Pixar films’ humor, which often includes puns or allusions that only an older audience might understand. For example, in Monsters, Inc. one character named Bile goes by the name Phlem, a play on words that a child might not catch. In Finding Nemo, a group of sharks attempting to maintain a vegetarian fish-free diet attend Alcoholics Anonymous-style meetings to curb their cravings, another reference that would most likely surpass a young viewer but give a chuckle or two to an adult.

While Pixar films do include action, suspense and some manifestation of evil in their films, the villains are usually creatures that, in reality, are not that frightening to children. In TS3 the villain is Lotso, a pink Lots-O-Hugs bear. While he may be cruel in the film, the fact that he is a teddy bear makes him non-threatening for children. In A Bug’s Life the evil villain is Hopper, a grasshopper, who is large compared to the ants he is ruling over, but not anything too scary to a child. Even in Up, Alpha, the Doberman Pinscher-leader of a pact of talking dogs owned by the movie’s villain (an old man), has a high-pitched voice (resembling what a voice might sounds like after inhaling helium), making him less intimidating despite being somewhat frightening looking.

Perhaps what might be the most appealing aspect of Pixar films is the fact that the main characters in their films often start off feeling isolated and out of place. This is a feeling that almost all people experience at some point, especially in childhood, and therefore the audience is able to relate to characters as “outsiders.” In Ratatouille the protagonists is a French rat with a passion for cooking, who helps an awkward, spazzy garbage boy form a cooking career. In Finding Nemo, Nemo stands out because he has one deformed mini-fin, caused by the accident with the barracuda. However, what makes these movies endearing is the fact that the lonely and out-of-place characters end up being commended for their uniqueness, as opposed to changing themselves to find their place in the majorities.

Of course, while having recognizable celebrities voicing characters who visually or personality-wise resemble them (Albert Brooks as the neurotic, anxiety-ridden Marlin in Finding Nemo) definitely adds appeal for adult viewers, what really makes Pixar such a genius filmmaking studio is their ability to create touching stories that both children and adults and everybody in between can find amusing and relatable. They’ve taken the Disney formula that has created heart-warming movies for decades and added dimensions, both visually and story-wise, resulting in consistent success at the box office.

The most eye-catching and memorable aspect of this party, however, was not the location, food, or even the A-list attendees; it was the title. Capote dubbed the celebration, “The Black and White Ball” and ever since then, party planners and event organizers alike have been running with the theme. A black-tie gala in which guests dress in black and white attire, Black and White Balls are a sure way to keep guests intrigued, excited, and amused.

In recent years, the aims of a Black and White Ball have changed; that is to say that many organizations, companies, groups, and celebrities are hosting annual Black and White Balls not only for extravagant celebration, but also as a benefit to raise money for charities and nonprofits. Guests are guaranteed all the perks and fun of a black-tie affair, while they build awareness and acquire funds for a selected charity at the same time.

One of the most famous Black and White benefits in the country is San Francisco Symphony’s Black and White Ball. This elegant biennial event is held at San Francisco’s Civic Center and repeatedly attracts San Francisco’s finest as well as many from around the country. Guests can expect a stirring concert (Tony Bennett and k.d. lang performed this year), dancing, music from an array of bands, a catered feast, scrumptious cocktails, beautiful decorations, and the Symphony’s own midnight surprise, a highly anticipated tradition.

Proceeds from the Ball benefit Adventures in Music, an organization that brings music programs to the San Francisco Unified School District. Tickets to this event might cost you a pretty penny (prices range from $200 for a party pass to

$25,000 for a patron table), but the children in San Francisco’s schools certainly appreciate all that this event accomplishes in just one night. Because the San Francisco Symphony’s Black and White Ball is one of the nation’s oldest annual galas of its kind (its first in 1956 even before Capote’s), this Ball’s guest list and profits only seem to be growing with time.

While the San Francisco Symphony’s Black and White Ball boasts a “midnight surprise”, other black and white balls across the nation offer special traditions and unique touches to keep patrons coming back. Give Kids The World hosts an annual Black and White Ball in Orlando, Florida and presents an extensive silent auction. Such items include a 2010American Music Awards Experience, VIP Space Shuttle Launch Experience, Weeklong Hawaiian Getaway, “Grease” poster signed by John Travolta, 2011 Arnold Palmer Invitational Badges for 4, and much, much more. The Nevada Ballet Theatre’s Black and White Ball, which supports the Theatre’s educational and outreach programs, awards the Nevada Ballet Theatre Woman of the Year at their event. Past recipients such as Marie Osmond, Paula Abdul, Celine Dion, Bette Midler and Twyla Tharp, have not only supported the theater, but also all their philanthropic and charitable endeavors.

Many other organizations have used big names to garner media attention and up their charitable revenue. Nelly, a hip-hop artist and celebrity in his own right, hosts an annual Black and White Ball in St. Louis, Missouri. This social event of the season boasts an impressive A-list attendance and therefore, brings in more and more money year after year. This southern celebration benefits Nelly’s Scholarship Program for Lindenwood University, which pays the full tuition for select University hopefuls. Even Chaka Chan returned to her hometown Chicago, Illinois to attend this year’s United Negro College Fund Black and White Gala. This event has raised over $5 million since its inception in 2001.

The Auburn Chamber of Commerce takes unique to the extreme. Their annual Black and White Ball is an outdoor event located in Auburn, California’s historic downtown at the Gold Country Fairgrounds. Attendees are encouraged to come in costume or to simply wear anything that is black and white, fun and comfortable. After a thrilling evening of festivities benefitting the Boys and Girls Club of Auburn, guests can even set up camp and sleep under the stars.

Many Black and White Balls still see great success by keeping their events simple. Texas Health Harris Methodist Foundation of Fort Worth, Texas, Bayhealth of Dover, Delaware, and Winthrop University Hospital of Huntington, New York all host annual Black and White Balls supporting health initiatives, hospital programs, and children’s centers. Guests can expect to dine and dance the night away for a good cause.

No matter how diverse these Black and White Balls may be, they do have certain things in common. They all offer dinner and entertainment (at the very least live music and dancing) and most hold auctions or raffles to generate additional revenue. Many have a long list of sponsors and donors, a devoted group of volunteers, and all are put together, organized, and backed by dedicated committees and chairs. Photographers are also great to have on hand. Not only do the guests get to feel like celebrities for a night, but the photos can also be used later for advertisement and media attention.

Regardless of personal touches or special traditions, Black and White Balls are a classy and fun way to raise money for charity.

[Photos by Drew Altizer Photography - www.drewaltizer.com]

• 1 lb. Bacon chopped
• 1 lb. Italian Sausage
• 1 Onion chopped
• 2 Celery chopped
• 2 Garlic minced
• 1 lb. Mustard Greens
• 1 Bunch Basil
• 9 oz bag Spinach
• 1 bunch Parsley
• 1 box Chicken Broth
• 1 can White Beans like Cannelini

Brown bacon and sausage, drain and set aside. Saute onions, garlic and celery until soft. Add all leafy greens, and chicken broth. Cook for about 10 minutes.

Puree the broth then add the bacon, sausage and beans. Heat through and serve.

[Photo from Sebastian via Flickr]

Whole Roasted Chicken Mole Poblano:

• 1 5-pound whole chicken
• 4 dried pasilla chilies
• 5 dried ancho chilies
• 3 cups boiling chicken stock
• 1 cup almonds
• 1 1/2 cups coarsely chopped onions
• 4 medium tomatoes, peeled, seeded and coarsely chopped, or 1 1/2 cups canned tomatoes
• 3/4 cup lightly packed seedless raisins
• 3 tablespoons sesame seeds
• 2 corn tortillas, broken in small pieces
• 1 tablespoon garlic, finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1 teaspoon ground coriander seeds
• 1 teaspoon anise seeds
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 8 tablespoons shortening
• 3 cups cold chicken stock
• 2 squares unsweetened chocolate
• 3 tablespoons sesame seeds

Method: In a large bowl, pour 3 cups of the boiling-hot chicken stock over the prepared chilies. Cover and soak them for about 30 minutes.

Heat half the shortening in a large sauté pan or skillet. Cover the chicken in a light coating of salt and pepper. Optionally, you may stuff the middle cavity with halved onions, garlic cloves, lemon rinds, chile cores, or any other vegetable portions you have available. Sear each side of the chicken for 2-4 minutes, until thoroughly browned on all sides.

Transfer the chicken to a roasting pan and put it in the oven for about 45 minutes, until an instant-read thermometer reads 150F in the thickest part of the thigh (be careful not to touch the bone with the thermometer to ensure an accurate reading).

While the chicken is roasting, roughly chop the soaked chiles, being careful to wear rubber gloves or to wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water before touching anything, especially your face. Combine the chiles, stock and all the remaining ingredients in a food processor and blend until smooth, then pour the mixture into a large sauté pan or skillet over medium heat. Allow the mixture to simmer for 5-10 minutes.

Serve family-style on a platter with mole sauce drizzled over the chicken. Sprinkle with sesame seeds.

You may increase or decrease the chiles to adjust the heat of the sauce. I suggest increasing the heat here, and using a bottle of chilled Sauvignon Blanc and the Tossed Greens Salad with Bloody Mary Vinaigrette recipe above to cool your mouth and balance your palate.  Also great with Spanish rice.

[Photo from kern.justin via Flickr]

You can buy traditional pesto sauce in a jar, or make it from scratch:

Pesto alla Genovese

Ingredients:

• 3 medium cloves garlic

• 3 cups fresh basil leaves

• ¾ cup fresh parsley leaves

• 3 tablespoons pine nuts

• ¾ cup extra virgin olive oil

• 1¼ cups Parmigiano Reggiano

Preparation:

1. Preheat oven to 350F, and roast the pine nuts for about 5 minutes, until golden brown (alternate method – toast the pine nuts in a sauté pan, but be very careful not to burn them).

2. Puree the garlic in a food processor, then add the pine nuts and herbs and spin them until just chopped. With the blades running, slowly add the olive oil in a thin stream.

3. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator until ready to use. May be made up to a week ahead of time. When ready to use, add the cheese and process until well mixed.

Pesto-Stuffed Chicken Breasts

Ingredients:

2 sticks (1 cup) butter (roughly)

1/3 cup pine nuts, lightly toasted (see

2 bunches spinach, cleaned and stems removed

4-5 shallots, finely chopped

¾ cup ricotta cheese

2 egg yolks

¼ teaspoon ground pepper

5-6 thin slices prosciutto, cut in half

5-6 whole boneless chicken breasts, cut in half and flattened out

¼ cup lemon juice

Method:

Preheat the oven to 375F. Line the bottom of a baking pan with butter and set aside.

Steam the spinach for 1-3 minutes. You can easily do this by tossing the freshly rinsed spinach into a large pan, covering and heating over medium heat. Then remove the pan from the heat and add ice water to shock the spinach and stop it from continuing to cook. Wring the spinach dry with a clean towel and chop medium-fine.

Put a little butter and the shallots into a sauté pan and cook over medium heat until translucent.

Combine the spinach, shallots, pine nuts, ricotta cheese, pesto sauce egg yolks, pepper and ¼ cup of butter in a large bowl, and taste for seasoning. Place a piece of prosciutto on each breast, then spread the pesto mixture evenly over each breast. Fold each breast over in half and place in the baking dish.

Mix together the lemon juice with an equal portion of melted butter, and baste over each breast. Put the baking pan in the oven and bake for 30 minutes, basting occasionally with the juices that drip into the pan.

When it’s done, allow to set for 5-10 minutes. Then cut each breast on a bias into ½-inch pieces and serve, either as an entrée or on a platter as an hors d’oeuvre. You can stick a toothpick into each piece to hold it together.

Cilantro-Key Lime Salsa with Chevre

• 4 medium ripe tomatoes, peeled, seeded and diced
• juice of 3 Key limes
• 2 tablespoons cider vinegar
• 2 oz goat cheese, cut into small pieces
• 1 fresh jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced
• ¼ cup fresh cilantro, chopped
• 1 medium red onion, minced
• 1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar
• Salt and black pepper to taste

Method: Stir together all of the ingredients except the chevre, then fold in the chevre until evenly mixed.

Refried Black Beans

• 1 30-oz can of black beans
• 1 large Anaheim pepper
• ½ red onion, diced small
• Salt and pepper to taste

Method: In a large sauté pan over medium heat, add the oil, onions and Anaheim pepper. When the onions are soft and translucent, add the beans. Smash the beans through a slotted spoon or similar utensil until they are fairly smooth.

Pan-Seared Tacos

• 15 corn tortillas
• 2 oz chevre
• Small amount of oil for the pan

Method: Drop 2 or 3 tablespoons of cooking oil into a large sauté pan over med-high heat. Layer 5 corn tortillas evenly around the pan, letting them overlap. Add a dollop of refried black beans to the center of each taco. Add a dollop of cilantro-Key lime salsa to the center of each taco. Fold each taco over in half, and allow it to cook until the bottom side browns thoroughly, then flip each one over and finish on the other side. Transfer to a platter and repeat with the next 5 tacos.

[Photo from bobjudge via Flickr]

Ingredients:

• 2 cups sifted cake flour
• 1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
• 1 ½ cups granulated sugar
• ½ cup oil
• 7 eggs
• 2 vanilla beans or 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 2 ¼ cups coconut milk
• 1 ½ cups sweetened condensed milk
• 2 ½ cups heavy cream
• ½ cup pineapple juice
• 2 tablespoons dark rum
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• 1 cup shredded coconut, toasted

Method: Preheat oven to 350F. Sift together flour, baking powder and salt and set aside. In a separate bowl, combine the oil, sugar, and half the vanilla. Add the eggs to the sugar mixture one at a time, allowing each egg to become fully incorporated before adding the next egg. Stir in ¾ cup of the coconut milk, then gently fold a little of the flour mixture into the egg mixture at a time. Lightly grease cup cake pans. Pour in the batter until each pan is about half full and bake for about 20 minutes, until a toothpick comes out of the center clean and each cupcake feels somewhat firm. Let the cupcakes cool to room temperature and turn them over onto a platter. Pierce the cupcakes with a fork about 30 times, then let cool in the refrigerator for another 15 minutes.

Whisk together the remaining coconut milk, the condensed milk, 1/2 cup of the heavy cream, the pineapple juice and the rum. Slowly pour the milk mixture over the cupcakes and refrigerate for another half hour. You can spoon any milk run-off back onto the cupcakes.

Whipped cream frosting

Method: Combine the remaining heavy cream with the remaining vanilla and 2 tablespoons of sugar, and beat to stiff peaks. Spread a layer over each of the cupcakes. Garnish with toasted shredded coconut. Serve with vanilla ice cream.

[Photo from clevercupcakes via Flickr]

We hosted nine guests and I will say the smartest choice we made was to hire a chef which enabled both of us to enjoy the entire evening without jumping up from the table every five minutes (worth every single penny!). I did make the dessert which was a hit so I was satisfied knowing I contributed to the menu. But because there always seem to be those things that you forget despite attempting to dot every “i” (ice!) and cross every “t” (toilet paper!), I decided to make a list of the must-do’s that I can reference for the next soiree.

I now present my Ten Commandments when attempting a flawless dinner party:

1. Thou shalt buy ice.
(Take it from me, you can never have too much and it’s better to have more than you need than not enough!)

2. Thou shalt buy more flowers than you think you’ll need.
(I always try to pinch a penny here and am then regretful when I don’t have a nosegay for the powder room or for any areas OTHER than the dinner table.)

3. Thou shalt put votive candles EVERYWHERE.

(These are one small thing that make a BIG difference. Put one on as many surface areas as you can to create a warm environment including bathrooms, bedrooms, offices and any room a guest might see.)

4. Thou shalt think of your music selection in advance.
(I always love to create fun playlists depending on the occasion whether it’s songs with the word “baby” in them for a shower or ’60s swing for a cocktail party.)

5.Thou shalt prepare a fun trivia game or story-telling suggestion for guests once everyone is seated.
(For our recent dinner party honoring our friends who are pregnant, I placed baby spoons by everyone’s table setting and had the chef serve each guest a jar of baby food as the “amuse bouche.” I had previously removed the labels so that each person had to “Guess the Gerber” which is a truly hilarious game to play when celebrating pregnancies. I also love a game I once played called “Salad Bow” where everyone writes the name of someone or something famous on a piece of paper, fold it, and place it in a bowl. Each person then draws a paper and has to describe said written item in one-word teasers to his/her partner seated next to him/her.)

6. Thou shalt ask all guests in advance about any dietary restrictions.
(Suzie eats fowl but only if it’s naturally fallen and Sally’s allergic to dairy, gluten, and anything containing carbs. Riiiiiight.)

7. Thou shalt never seat exes anywhere close to one another.
(Think about your guest placement carefully. It can make or break a great energy.)

8. Thou shalt buy cocktail napkins.
(You always think you have them and then can’t find them. And you can monogram them for next to nothing – a lovely touch!)

9. Thou shalt get oneself dressed and ready early and then finish last-minute touches, not vice versa.
(It never fails that I wait until the last second to get ready and am then not available to greet my guests upon arrival.)

10. Thou shalt make sure you have an extra roll of T.P. in the powder room and a plunger close by.
(Just in case a guest disappears to the growler for an inexplicable amount of time. See movie “Along Came Polly” and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about here.)

I’m always one for a little potty humor but not the literal kind.